Dialogues I'll try to avoid

He:

Please never let me vegetate in such a situation -- dependent on machines, fed from a bottle of fluid nutriment. If you experience me in that condition, have the mercy to shut off the machines keeping me alive.

She:

Well, I'll rather throw away the telly and the computer and pour away your beer then.

(Via Thilo Baum Lounge - Patientenverfügung)